Slayer Hater: Investigators seek answers in killing at Deals Gap

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Investigators seek answers in killing at Deals Gap

Authorities in both Tennessee and North Carolina are investigating a mass murder in the Deals Gap area. One official was quoted as saying, "It's like nothing I've ever seen. The scale of this killing is monumental." The official became very emotional after that.

Detective Dick Tator with the North Carolina SBI said, "The only thing being 'slain' at the 'Dragon' anymore is common sense. We will find the perpetrators and we will bring them to justice."

Common sense was native to the area at one time and now, authorities say, it's nearing extinction.

"With the influx of self-proclaimed 'Dragon Slayers' in the area, common sense has all but completely disappeared. We believe there to be a real connection there," Detective Tator said.

Investigators have many leads and are forced to follow them all at around 15 MPH.

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So who is Slayer Hater anyway?

Slayer Hater knows what a biker is and you ain't it.
Slayer Hater doesn't drag knees at your rally, why do you drag your bike at his?
Slayer Hater doesn't come to your state and tell you how to ride your road.
Slayer Hater doesn't dig your entitlement attitude when it comes to the best piece of riding on the planet.
Slayer Hater would like to be able to carry on a conversation when you take off out of the parking lot on your v-twin super-dildo. Oh and even a monkey can twist a throttle, shithead.
Slayer Hater doesn't understand your religion.
Slayer Hater knows you're going to drop your bike negotiating the parking lot at the CROT. He just knows it.
Slayer Hater has no clue why you bring a heavy, under-powered, low-performance machine to such a challenging road only to ride at 15 miles per hour and wobble your way to the sticker counter calling yourself a "Dragon Slayer." Slayer Hater knows you don't know why either.
Slayer Hater is the poor bastard in the mirror for 6+ miles of the 11. How about "slaying" that pull off, r-tard?
Slayer Hater is not a "me," it's a "we." No really, it's a "we."
Slayer Hater doesn't even see what sort of bike you're on so long as you are in control of that bike, considerate of others and in your own lane. Be slow! Be on a cruiser! Just be in control! Should Slayer Hater even have to say that? Sad that we do.