Slayer Hater

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Study launched: Why DO cruiser owners come to the Dragon anyway?

The NHTSA has commissioned a study to find out just what brings Dragon Slayers to The "Dragon." In recent years, there has been a marked increase in "Slayers" on low-clearance, heavy, under-powered, antiquated motorcycles appearing on the "Dragon." These machines come from the factory with an intense lack-of-speed wobble that owners cannot seem to fix. These wobbles have been known to be so intense they cause the rider to cross the center line in all blind left hand turns and even fall down in the parking lot of the CROT without warning.

NHTSA Commissioner David L. Strickland is quoted as saying, "I don't get it. What's with these fags and their Harleys on the best road in the country? Why would you take a piece of shit Harley to Deals Gap in the first place?" Just about everyone in the country agrees with Commissioner Strickland...except for Harley owners, that is. The study will focus on the driving-a-deck-screw-with-a-hammer (wrong tool for the job) theory of cruisers on the Gap. The study comes on the heels of traffic jams and noise parades on Cat Tail Straights and wild wobbling taking place in killboy's Corner.

A sub-part of the study will also answer the question, "How come nothing happens when you turn the throttle on a Harley wide open -- well, except for more noise coming out of it?"

3 comments:

FlamingSkullSlayer said...

I think you are being unfair. I slayed-ed the Dragon several times. I ride a Springer Softtail Eagle Patriot Paraglide Heritage Edition, and it is the best scoot ever for riding the Tail of the Dragon. Due to it's extremely low forward controls, I am given early warning should I achieve anything like a lean angle. The cup holder is on a gimble so that I won't spill any of my Milwaukee's Best while taking those wicked turns. Yes I have loud pipes, and they save lives! And they are a handy mounting point for the flat screen.
I also object to you depicting harley riders as unconcerned regarding proper safety gear. I wear a beanie helmet, bitching head scarf, leather vest with Kevlar reinforced patches and leather chaps. The vest and chaps are not cheap! Tip to you other hog riders out there, you can get great discounts shopping for gear on gay bondage websites!
I am going to be following this blog closely to monitor your slanderous bile concerning the greatest bikes and riders in the world. Watch it punk.

Mike said...

See the Southpark Harley episode for further explanation.

billy said...

Only a Harley rider would say that a "Beanie" helmet and a "Bitching Head Scarf" is a form of good protection. ROFL!

To top it all of it, gives other "slayers" advice to get there leather from gay bondage sites. ROFL!!!!