Slayer Hater

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Utah man takes girlfriend's car out for "wings" and a spin, girlfriend/community pissed

A Utah man should be in custody Friday for the copious amounts of "slaying" he did in his girlfriend's car. Not only did he "slay" the hell out of the "Dragon," he "slayed" good fashion sense.

His driving skills are obviously par for "Dragon Slaying;" left-of-center (heck, he's left of far left!), speeding and no doubt breaking traction for the 5 photographers on Deals Gap. He's not reckless, however, since he isn't dragging his knee.

The man borrowed his girlfriend's car telling her he was "going out for wings." He then took the car to the nearest PepBoys and installed that wing in the parking lot with borrowed tools. The wing provides all the down-force needed to maintain the inside line on a blind left-hand curve. It doesn't, however, provide enough camouflage to cover up how big of a douchebag one is being.

The local Deals Gap community is furious with this fast guy because they don't appreciate tourist dollars handed to them from great drivers like him. Oh wait, yes they do.

Turbo_jimbo, aka JimBo Conger, aka Jim Conger, aka James Conger D.O.B. 01/17/1984 is quite an accomplished driver. So is it any wonder he should take race lines at Deals Gap? Head on collisions in blind corners are only dangerous for those without bumpers. Utah should be proud.


badfaerie said...

How can you not love this guy? Those are sum pimp driving skillz, don't be a hater! Oh, wait.... nevermind.

Too bad those picks are enough to convict this guy of rampant asshattery.

JimBo said...

you dont have permission to use my picture. take it down. now.

Slayer Hater said...

Or else what?

Wasn't it you that was scoffing at "ethugs?"

I got one for ya. "Lick my balls."

Ethan said...

Interwebz fail for Jimblo.

Slayer Hater said...

We at Slayer Hater would like to state for the record that Jimbo's explanation, while a lovely piece of creative writing, is quite simply false.

Jimbo explained that before he decided to use the entire inside lane, he "looked two corners ahead and saw nothing was coming." This is quite simply false. The first couple of photos of Jimbo's prize driving are him driving southbound into Picnic Curve. The view through this corner is obscured by an earthen embankment. While this sounds lovely to people that don't know jack shit about the road, it doesn't fly with people that do.

Jimbo, you're a douchebag. Simple as that. Your flippant attitude about potentially endangering others on some of the greatest asphalt in the world is pretty impressive.

Do you think you're the only one doing hot runs early in the morning, asshole? Everyone can play if dickholes like you stay in their own lane IN BLIND CORNERS. No one gives a fuck about how (not very) fast your girlfriend's car can go. No one gives a fuck if you drift the ass end of that little bitch car in a left hand turn; hell, it'd be nice if you had to pay a wrecker to pull your sorry ass out of the ravine. About the only thing anyone gives a fuck about is dumbasses that cannot or in your case, WILL NOT maintain their own lane.

We find your apology to be insincere and the fact of the matter is, you're the type of asshole that won't learn until they kill someone.

Fuck you and the piece of shit girl car you rode into the wrong lane on.

gregmccoy1971 said...


I needed a good smile. Well said.

Nathaniel said...

I just smiled Slayer Hater!

Licence plate #874 7NU. If you see him (and drive a truck like I do), run his ass over in a blind left-hand corner. :)